'Was our baby switched at birth?': Husband Goes Behind Wife’s Back and Gets a Paternity Test, Discovers He Is Not the Father of Their Child

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  • 01
    I M28 know that my son isn't mine but my wife F26 doesn't think that I do. How do I have this conversation with her?
  • 02
    Hello all, throwaway. I made this as short as possible, I'm sorry. I've been married to my wife for 3 years and together for 5. Our son just turned 2 in early June and to put it bluntly he looks biracial. His skin is darker than I
  • 03
    thought it would've been, he has curly hair when we most certainly don't and his features just don't look like the standard white people which we are. He's a beautiful boy, he just doesn't look 100% white.
  • 04
    I asked my wife a few days after his birthday if she thought our son looked white. She said yes and asked if I'm accusing her of something. I said no because I genuinely wasn't, I just was wondering. I know genetics can be weird sometimes. We fought
  • 05
    and I apologized but I wasn't. able to shake the feeling so I did the thing and got a test done behind my wife's back. The results came in a few days ago and I'm not my son's dad.
  • 06
    I feel conflicted about my son. I love him, but knowing that he isn't mine is leaving a sour taste in my mouth. Our son definitely prefers me and he's my world, but he's just not biologcally mine. I don't know what to make of my feelings.
  • 07
    I'm a mix of emotions about my wife. I don't know how to talk to her. I'm angry, confused and feeling very, very betrayed. I'm heartbroken too. I still love her.
  • 08
    She's working at the moment and I don't want to disturb her at her office but I feel like I'm going to explode. This is all very difficult for me to process and I can't.
  • 09
    I can't think of when my wife cheated. We always had each other's locations for safety purposes and I can't think of any suspicious friends that she has or had. We go on regular dates and our bedroom isn't
  • 10
    dad. We were also trying for a baby around that time so I don't know when she cheated on me or why. Ever since we married she's been over the moon constantly showing off her ring and talking about me. She's like a teenager in love.
  • 11
    How do I tell her that I know? Or get that ball rolling? I don't know what I want to do yet as stupid as that sounds. I've been stewing on it for a few days but I still love her so much. Maybe someone can knock some sense into me? I need help.
  • 12
    Edit: I'm becoming overwhelmed with the comments, I'm sorry. I wanted to reply to a few but I can't. I just wanted to say thank you for commenting and that I also hope our baby was just swapped as terrible as that sounds. Our baby
  • 13
    didn't look biracial at birth. As he got older he started developing features that didn't look entirely like ours. If our son's skin didn't darken over time I don't think I ever would've
  • 14
    questioned anything. The other features can be explained as a fun little surprise or a few generation hops maybe. I know that genetics can be weird.
  • 15
    Icy-Doctor23 3 days ago . • edited 2 days ago You place the results of the test in front of her and you say we need to have a conversation and go from there Edit to add:You could express your concerns about baby
  • 16
    being switched at birth and request your wife obtain a test to ensure. You didn't want to say anything to her unless it came back as it did.
  • 17
    sassamadoo 3 days ago Do a DNA test for your wife and your son to make sure the hospital didn't give you the wrong baby.
  • 18
    FearaRose 3 days ago I agree with this! Show her the results and ask her to do a DNA test to make sure the hospital didn't mix up the babies. This way, she either comes clean OR the DNA test outs her.
  • 19
    OR if the hospital mixed it up, your wife won't feel like you immediately lost faith in her. It might be hard for her to come back from that.
  • 20
    False-Impression8102 3 days ago . edited 2 days ago This is where you need to be strategic, not emotional. I'd get a second test, just to be sure. And I might even have the kid tested against her DNA, if you can obtain it, as it would rule out a hospital mix-up. (Super rare, but it does happen)
  • 21
    Then talk with a lawyer and probably pull half of any shared accounts before confronting her. Edit: yes, check with the lawyer before yanking money. The reality is either person on a joint account can empty it. If you are reliant on a partner who has been proven scientifically untrustworthy, take steps to protect yourself.

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